“Forgive, sounds good, Forget, I am not sure I could….” (inspired by a Dixie Chicks song)
I am not ready to forgive myself yet. Thus I am not ready to tell… I hate the whole “Reviving and Re-living of the incident” scenario over and over again each time I tell the story. But I guess I’d have to face the world and tell it once and for all to end the never ending repeats. Some are sincere caring queries while some merely inquisitive probes, and probably gloats. Nevertheless, here’s the short and simple police report I made to recall what happened to my Chevy’s left wing.
“Pada 28.1.2008. jam lebih kurang 10:30am, semasa saya sedang memandu kereta saya *** ****, jenis Chevrolet Optra 1.8 Automatik di Jalan *** menghala dari *** ke ***, tiba-tiba sebuah trailer biru dari kiri secara mengejut membelok ke kanan lalu menghempas kereta saya di sebelah kiri, (pintu belankang) tanpa memberi sebarang isyarat. Kereta say mengalami kerosakan di bahagian belakang pintu dan di tayar. Lain-lain kerosakan belum diketahui lagi. Sekian aduan saya.”
There are so many things running in my mind right now… i.e. all those positive things like, luckily b was not with you, luckily nothing happened to you, luckily this, luckily that… but obviously we all know that those are just excuses to make me feel better. Yeah, actually I think the whole incident could’ve been avoided if I was a little more alert. Cousin was nice and tells me that it cant be avoided when ppl hit you from the back. Well, yeah, I wasn’t aware I was hit until my car flew out of control (but I think due to the traction control, I regain control back quickly.) I gave a scream and looked at the rear mirror to see the gigantic truck turning down to the K* highway. I cant stop my car due to too much traffic,… so I turned into some housing estate and called B and made police report….. so it’s a hit and run coz I didn’t even see the number plate as I was already going straight while the trailer turned into K* highway…
I don’t really mind coz car can be fixed, money can be “installed” through insurance… Problem is…. It’s CNY and the workshops are closed and I have to wait till after CNY to fix my car. Mean while, I have to endure driving a junk to work (I love it but it’s still ugly looking)….
Anyway, yeah, I am sad and I wanna cry but there’s no tears…. And worse thing is... B is away at Penang till Friday and thus, I don’t even get a hug to go through this….
*I tried to go on like I used to,
I’m awake but my world is half asleep,
I pray for this heart to be unbroken,
As I am just incomplete….”
*inspired by the song “Incomplete”
